School Plans and the Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations

I read a blog post recently that got me thinking about Whitney's upcoming school choices.  The post was about a special needs mom that never gave up on her son despite his paralysis and how he became a successful writer in the end.  You can give it a read here, if you'd like.  I was really inspired. In the post I read a phrase that got me thinking: "the soft bigotry of low expectations."

Is lowering expectations a form of bigotry? How often do I tell myself, "Well, Whitney will never be capable of that.  So I'll just lower what I expect of her." I hope I don't think that way very much. Maybe we do sometimes. Melanie and I know that kind of thing used to happen at Whitney's school.  Some of her previous teachers were very kind and loving but wouldn't even expect her to sit at her desk during class or participate in classroom activities.  She has disabilities.  No big deal. Let her do what she wants.  Right?  Whitney got away with a lot because she has some special needs and she's cute and smiley.

Thankfully, we've been blessed the last three years where Whitney has been in a classroom environment where she was expected to sit and listen and do her work to the best of her abilities.  We've been so thrilled with the difference it's made.  Melanie and I are constantly thanking the educators involved because it's hard work to have high expectations for children in a special ed cluster class.

But Whitney's graduating from her little class where she's done so well in recent years.  And Melanie and I worried about the soft bigotry of low expectations becoming a problem once again.  We're actually considering sending Whitney to another school where we know the expectations will be kept high.  We feel bad about taking her away from the classmates that she's learned to love at her current school.  But based on what we've been told, the classroom situation in the next age group at the same school just isn't as rigorous as we'd like.  We're not demanding tiger parents.  That's not our style at all, but we do want her to continue her current pace of growth.  So we're gearing up to go to bat with the district over a change in schools.  Melanie and I are hoping they'll understand our reasoning and be supportive.  We've got the backing of Whit's current, wonderful teacher.  So that should help a lot.

We're doing our best to keep expectations high when it comes to Whitney and we're looking for more great educators who will do the same. And we're grateful to everyone who has helped keep our hopes high at school over the years.

IEP Review and Great Progress Communicating

We just finished reviewing Whitney's Individual Education Plan (IEP) for another year with the folks at her elementary school.  This happens annually and we use the time to review our goals for Whit as well as her accomplishments.  Whit has had another good year at school.  She's making progress on her goal of recognizing 175 sight words when she reads.  Potty training is also coming along, although many days are still a struggle.  But biggest area of improvement for Whit over the course of this last year has been with speech and communication.

A year ago, Whitney's ASL interpreter was reassigned to help a child who was more profoundly affected than Whit.  Melanie and I had mixed feelings at the time.  Whitney had used sign language heavily to understand and communicate in the classroom.  But in the year since, Whit has listened more attentively in class.  She's started to vocalize more when asked a question as well as started to use her communication software more effectively.  Whitney's teachers feel that this is due to Whitney having to perform all these tasks on her own now instead of being able to depend on her interpreter to do it for her.

It's exciting to see her understand and communicate more about what is going on around her. We're grateful to for the team in Whitney's classroom that works so hard for her.  She's made great strides over the course of her time with her current teachers.  They've expected a lot of her and Whitney hasn't gotten away with being lazy just because she has some physical disadvantages.  That's spurred her on to some great accomplishments over the last three years that she's been in her current classroom.  Next up, we're making plans for where Whitney will go to class in the fall and how it will affect her.  More on that soon.

Return to Dads and Donuts

Each year Whitney's school hosts a day where fathers can bring their kids to school and read them a book while they have a donut for breakfast.  It's one of my favorite school activities of the year because it's just for Whitney and me.  This year Whit rode to school with me and we talked a bit on the way.

When we got to the school, I could tell Whitney remembered doing this with me before.  She marched right into the gym and found the tables full of books that they were giving away to the kids.  And just like last year, she perused the selection until she found a book about Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Then we found a seat, had some donuts and milk and read all about Clifford's latest adventure.  Another little girl whose dad must have not been able to make it, joined us mid-story.  She was cute with Whitney and put her arm around her as she listened.  When we were done, she asked me why Whitney doesn't talk.  I told her that Whit actually does talk but she uses her hands to sign and make gestures instead of talking with her mouth.  The little girl seemed to understand.  The kids at Whitney's elementary school are used to seeing special needs students at recess, lunch and other activities because of the several cluster classes in the school.  And they've all been really accepting of Whitney.  It's actually really fun to watch them with her.

When the bell rang to indicate it was time for class, Whit gave me a tour of her school on the way.  She showed me the computer lab, where the bathrooms are and other things that interested her.  I finally had to ask someone where her classroom was.  The gentleman that helped us out knew Whitney by name and it's clear she knew him as well.  I believe he might have been the principal.

When we finally got to class Whit showed me her desk and we hung up her coat and backpack.  As other students arrived she greeted them and I watched them interact.  I really enjoyed seeing a bit more of Whitney's day for myself.  I usually get to hear things second hand.  Being there is person is really nice.  And it's obvious she really loves going to school.

Parent Teacher Conference

Yesterday evening was the first official parent teacher conference of the new school year for Whitney.  Whitney's adjustment to a new teacher and classroom was something Melanie and I had been really worried about.  Whit's teacher runs a very structured classroom and expects a lot of our little girl.  And at first that was tough for her.  In fact early on, she had a major tantrum in the classroom.  Since then, they've been focusing on citizenship in the classroom and Whitney's been responding well.  And that has paved the way for a lot of things.

First off, she is using Proloquo2Go and an iPad for almost all communication in the classroom now.  She can run it well and say pretty much anything she needs to.  She still has an interpreter in class and that still helps Whitney to listen and understand what's going on around her.

As far as behavior, she has gone through a transformation.  Whit doesn't like to do fine motor exercises like writing and coloring.  But where she could get out of those tasks last year by throwing a fit, this year she knows she's expected to get her work done.  So with hand over hand help she'll write her name and color her pictures.  She no longer throws fits and she's even stopped hitting her head in frustration.  I wish we could be that successful at home!

Whitney can also count all the days in the month on a calendar and read the sentences in her school reading books.  And they're going to start working on addition and subtraction soon.  Whitney's favorite part of the day is morning yoga where laughingly invites her therapists and interpreters to join in the fun.

Whitney's teacher is serious about expecting the same thing from her special ed 3rd graders that typical 3rd graders can do.  That may seem harsh to some, because there are things that are certainly more challenging to Whitney.  But it's working!  And it's so exciting to see Whitney begin to meet these higher expectations and realize more about her potential.

A Trip to the Ballet

The special ed kids at Whitney's school have an annual tradition of attending a dress rehearsal of The Nutcracker presented by the Capitol Theatre.  The children get all dressed up and ride together on the school bus.  And, due to seating limitations, no parents are allowed to come with to help out.  Luckily Whitney's teacher was excited to tell us all about it.

Whitney was very well behaved and watched the ballet intently.  She laughed and clapped.  And afterward Whitney was trying to sing the songs.  She really liked the music.  When the kids got back to class, there was a bit of free time before the bus to go home.  So Whitney sang and twirled around the classroom as if she were a ballerina until it was time to leave.  It was an exciting day for our little lady and I'm grateful her school provides her opportunities to get out and enjoy the arts.

Reading for Fun

The other night Melanie caught Whitney doing something we have never seen before.  She ran to get me and I quickly shot the video you see here.  It may not be totally clear but what she's doing here is reading herself a book.

Whitney went to the books we keep in our living room end table and picked out Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?  Then she sat down on the floor and began to read it out loud and sign the words.  Whitney doesn't do consonants but you can hear the vowel sounds pretty clearly and see her sign some of the pages of the book.

We've really tried to encourage reading in our home and we have Whitney read to us as part of her regular routine.  And we've know for a while that she can read.  But it was so exciting to see that she likes to read and that she chose to read instead of doing something else, even if it was just for a few minutes.

School Adjustments

Sorry, I've been quiet so long.  There are more regular updates to come.  Whitney has had a tough fall getting back to school.  She's in a new classroom with a new teacher.  And her sign language interpreter, who was with her for the last several years helping her understand what was said in the classroom, suddenly moved out of state just after the start of the school year.  So poor Whit has been doing the best she can to adjust to a new environment, new teacher and a new interpreter in order to keep up on what's going on at school.

The result hasn't been terrific.  About a month ago she began getting agitated in the classroom and having some pretty serious fits.  One day we got a note home that she had lost her temper and thrown a chair.  No one was hurt but Melanie and I were worried.

Melanie has been in contact with Whitney's teacher and they've been trying to coordinate things better in order to help Whit feel at ease and understand more of what's going on around her.  Melanie is also going to start volunteering in the classroom weekly.  Hopefully, a familiar face will also help her relax and be willing to participate and learn.

The biggest help in fighting classroom issues has been a daily report home.  It's just a small note with an update on Whitney's behavior for the day.  The teacher explains how important it is to Whitney and Melanie praises Whitney like crazy when she comes home with a good report.  Things have improved so much in the last month that Whitney now proudly comes home holding a note saying that she had an outstanding day.

I'm hoping this is a sign that the adjustment period to all of the new people and classroom is finally over.  It takes Whit a bit longer to settle in than a typical child.  But we know that she really does love getting out of the house and going to school.  And we hope that the love she has will continue for many years to come.

Back to School

Whitney started third grade on Monday.  It's hard to believe she's grown up that much already.  But she's certainly experienced when it comes to the school routine.  She was so excited when the bus pulled up on Monday morning.  Her same bus driver met her with a familiar greeting and it was off to class just like last year.

Only this year Whitney has a new teacher in a new classroom.  After having the same teacher for the last two grades, Melanie and I were a little worried about how Whitney would adjust to someone new.  Thankfully, Whit's speech therapist moved up to the new class with her and that's helped ease the transition.  We haven't actually talked with Whitney's new teacher this week, but the first thing Whit did when she got off the bus on Monday afternoon was sign "Fun, Fun, Fun" to Melanie.  I'd say that's a pretty good indication that things are going okay.

Whit's new teacher has been sending home quick notes that indicate how much she's been eating at lunch and how the day went overall.  So far the notes have said things like "head of the class" or "off the chart."  And she's eating around half of her school lunches, which is typical given the desire to go out and play at recess.  I've been hoping and praying this Whitney would be cooperative and willing to participate in class this year.  And it sounds like that's been the case.  I'll be anxious to hear if that will carry over to math this year.  Here's hoping.

Melanie and I are really glad that Whitney enjoys school.  We're looking forward to seeing all the great things she'll learn this year.

Completing Second Grade

Special ed children in Whitney's school district only get about a month and a half off during the summer.  This keeps them from forgetting too many skills during summer break.  We don't mind at all because Whitney loves school almost as much as she loves stealing smartphones from people. So we have mixed feelings about the fact that Whit will be moving on from second grade tomorrow.  She'll get a short break and then it's on to third grade in the fall.  It's hard to see her grow up so quickly.

This past school year has been a great one.  Whit has learned to read many new words and is now comfortable sitting down and reading and signing simple books to Melanie and I.  She's learning many valuable social skills through interacting with the other children.  She's making progress on self sufficiency skills.  And probably best of all she's beginning to grasp the concept of potty training.

Whitney has had the same great teacher for first and second grades and we were hoping that would continue for another year.  But her teacher is retiring.  So it's on to a new teacher and classroom in the fall.  We'll miss her teacher this last couple of years a lot and want to thank her and all the classroom aides and therapists for a very successful year.  We really can't thank you enough for all you've done for our daughter.

Last week, Whitney's class put on an end of year program and barbecue for the parents.  Above are a few shots of the songs the kids sang.  You can see why Whit loves school.  They always have so much fun!

The IQ Test

With the end of another school year approaching it's been time for more tests and assessments that determine if Whitney is meeting any of the goals in her individual education plan (IEP).  This happens every year and Whitney is doing well with her reading, social skills and other things.

But this year with Whit's progress in reading and comprehension, the folks at school were able to administer Whitney's first ever IQ test.  The results were kind of humbling.  An average score score on an IQ test is 100.  Whitney scored a 45.  This is obviously well below average and it has me wondering about how accurate it is.  Whitney's listening comprehension is pretty good and getting better all the time.  But I'm not sure how much of the IQ test was listening versus reading or even recognizing patterns.

I'd also be very curious about the allowed responses.  I imagine Whitney was allowed to respond using ASL.  (She's still much better at communicating with sign than with her speech device.)  And were there questions that Whitney knew the answer to but was unable to communicate it to the person giving the test?  It's really hard to say.

Anyway, regardless of all the unknowns in the testing methods, I suppose it's kind of difficult for me to simply accept her score.  As parents, we all have a tendency to think our children are the best and brightest.  And quite frankly, a 45 is still not enough to make me believe otherwise about Whitney.  Have any of you other special needs parents gotten an IQ score for your children?  Were you surprised by what it was?  What methods were used to administer the test?  I'd love to hear from anyone who's had the test done.  I'm not really familiar with the procedure.  I've never even had one myself.  Although, maybe I'll go take one just for fun.

Dads and Donuts

This morning, Whitney's elementary school hosted a special event before class.  Dads were invited to bring their students for donuts, milk and reading time in the cafeteria.  So instead of riding the bus, Whitney rode with me to the school.

When we arrived, Whitney and I found some donuts, some milk and a spot to sit and read her Disney Princess story book.  We looked at pictures of all of Whitney's favorite princesses.  Whit chugged her milk but refused to eat any donut.  So I did the honorable thing and ate hers after I finished my own.

We sat with a little boy in Whit's special ed class and her father.  Whit gave her little class mate a big hug as his dad explained that the two of them are pretty good friends at school.  This was a fun thing to learn since Whitney can't really tell us about the friends in her class.

Then before we left we saw that the school was giving away a free book to each child as a way to encourage kids to read.  Whitney and I perused the tables of books.  I suggested several and Whitney shook her head at each one.  Finally, I spotted Clifford the Big Red Dog.  I pointed the book out to Whitney.  She grabbed it and excitedly signed dog. She had clearly made her choice.  Whit's teacher told me later that Whit is a huge fan of Clifford.  They read about him all the time in class, so she'll love reading that one at home as well.

I enjoyed spending a some quality time my little lady this morning and I'm grateful for all the great programs we get to participate in at her school.  And I'm sure when I get home tonight I'll get to read Clifford with all three of my little book worms.

Individual Education Plan 2012

Each year Melanie and I meet with Whitney's team from the school district to discuss the educational plans that have been tailored especially for her.  Depending on the school district and the educators, these meetings can turn into quite a battle.  But thankfully, we've been given some great folks to work with and they do amazing things for Whitney.

In the classroom, the plan is to continue working on sight words, signs and reading.  Whitney loves this activity and is getting a lot out of it.  To support this, Whitney's speech therapist is going to be working more with Whit over the next year on reading comprehension.  This will be a big help, because there's still some question about how much Whitney is picking up by memorization and repetition and how much she is picking up because she understands what she reads.

Whitney's doing well with speech therapy.  She's starting to work more with the speech software on the iPad and iPhone and she loves it.  The big thing we're focusing on now is recognizing when it's time to work with the device versus playing with it.  That's tough for Whit because she absolutely loves to tap away at games, listen to music and watch videos on her iPhone.

We also found out that Whitney's interpreter will be moving with her to third grade next fall.  We love her and are thrilled she'll be sticking around.  Whitney gets along well with her.  And since Whit will likely change schools next fall, having the same interpreter will be a big help.

Whitney's physical therapist is beginning to step back a bit.  Whitney is really doing about everything she should with walking, sitting, standing, climbing stairs etc.  One of the goals from last year was to be able to go from sitting to standing in the middle of a room.  The therapist has worked long and hard with Whit on this goal and we all believe she is strong enough to do it, but Whitney refuses.  She's physically capable of accomplishing the task, but she doesn't want to.  So the therapist will check in regularly to see how Whitney is doing, but Whitney needs to decide it's time before she meets that goal.

Another big area we're pushing for 2012 is occupational therapy.  There are so many everyday tasks that take extra work for Whit to learn!  Buttoning a button, tying a shoe, holding a pen or pencil and of course using the bathroom.  Potty training has been a very drawn out thing for Whitney.  It's partly been a problem of lack of desire.  So we're going to put our heads together again and see if we can find some new ways to motivate her and make it happen.

Melanie and I are very pleased with the great progress Whitney is making and for all of the wonderful help she receives.  A big thank you to all the educators on team Whitney!  We're grateful for all you do and are excited for another big year.

Whitney Reads Her First Book

Whitney has been working with her sight words and has progressed on to reading short, simple books.  This one is her first, about people and their homes.  She reads it every day for practice.  But every time she smiles and is so proud of the accomplishment.  Melanie and I are proud of her too.  She may have special needs but she clearly has no limits.

Parent Teacher Conferences

A few weeks back Melanie and I were able to sit down with Whitney's second grade teacher and some of the classroom therapists and chat about her progress so far this school year.  As with any child, Whitney has her ups and downs at school, but she's really doing quite well.  Here are a few specifics:

Staying in her seat is getting better.  Last year this was a big problem.  Whit just wasn't content to stay at her desk during class and she would just get up an wander the room.  This year they're focusing more on helping her stay on task and it's having a positive effect.

She's making amazing progress on reading sight words.  The entire class is working with a new program where they memorize five sight words at a time with new words each week.  You can see a picture of the words Whitney's currently working on in this post.  Since Whit doesn't speak, they teach her to recognize the word as well as the sign the word at the same time.  They also teach the meaning of the word so she can put the whole thing together in her mind.  Her teacher and speech therapist report that she's picking up words like crazy and I have full confidence that one day not too many years down the road, Whitney will be able to sit down with a book and read it to herself.

Math is an area she struggles in.  Whitney just isn't interested.  She is bored by counting and adding unless you do it with her on an iPad.  She doesn't like to count objects or point out her numbers on a piece of paper.  But when you put things on a screen, her teachers have discovered that she's interested for at least long enough to complete the exercise.

Speech with the iPad and Proloquo2Go continues to progress.  Whitney has to ask for things in class by signing or pressing the buttons to say the words.  That way she learns that it's not just play time when she has the iPad. And they've had some success.  Whitney will make a request that's actually a full sentence, such as, "I want big bubbles."  We were so excited to hear this, because it will open the door for her to speak to anyone and everyone instead of just the few who sign.

Overall, we're very pleased with Whitney's progress at school.  She loves going and she's getting a lot out of it.

Reading Time

Years ago, when Whitney was diagnosed with 1p36 Deletion Syndrome, I would have never have believed that she would one day be learning to read.  In those days the doctors had told Melanie and I that so many things would never happen for our daughter.  And yet here we are.  In second grade, Whitney has been working on a new reading program that we are really excited about.

Non-verbal children who have some hearing loss don't learn to read like a typical child.  Typical children learn their letters and then sound out the words.  But Whitney can't sound out words even though she knows all of her letters.  So an entirely different approach is taken.  In class, the student is taught to memorize sight words and their meanings.  This requires quite a bit of repetition, but the program tries to make it more of a game so students don't get tired of it.

In class, Whitney is shown a page where a new word is presented.   The teacher signs the word and points to it.  Then on the next row the new word and some other word are listed.  Whitney has to look at both words and choose the one she's currently learning.  On the next row of the page three words are presented and Whitney needs to pick out her new word.  This way the word is being memorized by sight and can later be picked out on a page when reading a book.  The more words she memorizes, the closer she'll be to reading actual phrases and sentences.

Whitney loves books so much and she's really been working hard at this new reading program.  As she's reading her vocabulary is growing and she's learning new signs as well.  I can hardly wait for the day when she'll be able to sit down with some of her favorite easy reading books and enjoy them all by herself.  It's going to be absolutely life-changing.

(The accompanying image for this post is from The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, one of Whitney's favorite interactive books available for iPad.  It's an amazing children's story about the healing power of reading and it's a lot of fun too.)

Back to School Already?

The special ed classes Whitney attends are on Utah's "Year 'Round" schedule. That means Whitney's summer break is a tad on the short side. In fact, she started back to class last week.

But that didn't stop Whit from trying to lengthen out her summer by any means possible. Sunday evening Whit didn't feel like eating dinner, which happens fairly often lately. Melanie and I exchanged knowing glances. And sure enough, on Monday morning, when it came time to wake up for school, Whitney was sick to her stomach. So we got to meet Whit's new bus driver, but that was it.

Whit continued to be sick to her stomach and lethargic all through Monday, Tuesday and most of Wednesday. Melanie did what she could to push fluids into her to prevent dehydration. Whit mostly laid around the house feeling weak. Finally, by Thursday she felt well enough to go to class and begin the school year.

Thankfully, the reports we get back from her teacher have said that Whit seems to be doing well, but we're concerned with the continuing stomach sickness spells that she gets every couple of weeks. Being out sick so often causes her to miss too much! We've tried cultures to detect infections and a variety of other tests, but so far no answers. We'll just have to keep looking and sending Whitney to school in between the pukey days.

The video above is of a bit of time we spent out late one summer evening blowing bubbles.

The Wanderer

Whitney is always on the go. She likes to be up and doing things all the time. She's usually the first one to get up in the morning, even beating the baby at the early riser game. She's almost always the first one up from the dinner table and she rarely sits still for an entire bedtime story.

I'm grateful she gets up and gets around so well independently. Her mobility is a great blessing that took years to develop. But it also creates some new challenges. Because Whitney wants to be on the go, she really has trouble focusing. She won't sit still when she's in class, at the dinner table or sitting on my lap to read a book. After just a few minutes she gets up and starts to wander. And she gets so upset when Melanie and I try to get her to come back and sit down.

So we're trying to find ways to keep her focused longer. Whit doesn't really like being forced to stay at the dinner table until we're through, but I think it will help her learn that important principle. Same goes for sitting with me until we're done reading the book she asked for.

We're going to try and get the folks at school on board as well. Last year she was permitted to get up from her desk in the middle of class and wander the classroom. This year, Melanie and I are going to request that the teacher and her helpers, assist Whitney in getting back to her seat at her desk.

The hope is that if this is required of her everywhere she goes, she'll gradually learn to sit still and pay attention. That's a life skill that's just as important as being able to walk on her own. Wish us luck!

End of Year Talent Show

Whitney's end of school year picnic and talent show was yesterday. All the teachers and aides worked very hard with the kids to get some fun musical numbers together. Whitney's favorite was the banana phone song that you can see above. You can also see from the smile on her face just how much she loves going to school. She absolutely loves playing with the other kids and learning from the wonderful teachers. And she's learning all kinds of important skills in the process. I mean, hey, now she knows all kinds of things about using fruit as a telecommunications device. ;-) Seriously though, I am glad they use music in the classroom. It's probably Whit's favorite way to learn things.

Field Day

Each year all the special ed classes gather at one of the local high schools in the district for a field day competition. Teachers and student volunteers help the special ed students participate in all kinds of different events. Due to the rainy weather, this year's competition was held indoors but that didn't dampen the contenders' spirits.

Whitney competed in several events and even got to win some ribbons. She got an honorable mention in the fifty yard dash. She may not be able to really run yet, but she's still very fast. And she got a ribbon in the softball toss once the volunteers convinced her she couldn't just hang on to the ball. Best of all, she won first place in the long jump. How does a girl who can't jump win a long jump competition? Easy. Put her up against two other students who are still using walkers.

Seriously though, all the students got to win an award of some kind and each of them had a great time participating in the events. Kids with special needs are often left watching from the sidelines at an event of this kind. So I'm grateful to the school district and all the volunteers who centered the field day around these special kids. It put a huge smile on my little girl's face.

Teacher Appreciation

I wonder if I would be anxious to get out of bed in the morning if I knew my workday would include being bitten, drooled on and possibly even pooped on before I was through. I suspect all of these things are simply a regular day at the office for special education teachers around the world. It was teacher appreciation week last week in our school district and it got me thinking about the sacrifices special ed professionals make to assist children like my little Whitney each day.

Their work is anything but glamorous but it means the world to parents like Melanie and I. In spite of the difficulties I mentioned earlier, there are also some amazingly rewarding moments. I remember one day when Whitney's physical therapy teacher called home to report that Whitney had taken her first steps. We shed tears of joy together that day. And I know there must be immense joy in seeing little ones with special challenges make so much progress throughout the school year.

But that joy doesn't come without sacrifice. In addition to the physical indignities, these invaluable individuals who do so much for our children don't get compensated the way they deserve. I wish I knew how best to reward individuals who have worked so hard to help my child at school. At the very least, let me issue this heartfelt thank you to all who have helped Whitney make it so far in her educational career. We are very grateful!